Would I have the TRAM Flap surgery again ? That's a tough question. I know that what has happened to me this year could not have been predicted. No one could look at me and say "Your muscles suck, don't do this." LOL So, rather than dwell on the negative, I try to see the positives of this situation.
1. I think that having the surgery has helped me to take better care of myself. I am never going to have another chance to get a tummy tuck, so I need to be more careful about what and how much I eat. I would love to exercise, but I have been afraid to do anything because I don't want to irritate the muscles or make them pop even worse.
2. My family is amazing. Of course, I already knew this, but you really depend on others when you are in this situation. You have no other choice. My husband was there with me every step of the way. Taking me to appointments, making me take pain meds when I tried to tough it out, keeping the kids quiet so that I could nap, urging me to go see the doctor when I didn't want to admit that there was something wrong. My kids are great too. They have really grown up and been a great help. Having my parents close was also a huge help. Picking kids up from school, babysitting during surgery and appointments- I couldn't have some it without them !
3. YOU are your own advocate. If you feel like something is wrong, do not let it go ! You know yourself better than anyone. If you feel like something is off or doesn't look right, talk to your doctor about it. If you don't get the answers that you are looking for, ask for another opinion. I learned that you can't be worried about hurting someone's feelings. This is your body, your health and you are in control. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something that you are not comfortable with and don't take no for an answer if you think that something is not right. You are important ! Don't diminish how you feel or your opinion.Trust your gut. If something is bothering you, tell someone or keep asking questions until you get an answer.
4. Do your research. I thought that I had done my homework before having the surgery. I had read just about everything on the internet about TRAM and basically thought that I could perform the surgery. Ask questions. Talk to others who have had the surgery. Read blogs and books by others who have been through this. A doctor or nurse can give you an idea of how recovery will go, but they have not lived through it.
5. Sometimes things will not go as planned. That's ok, you just have to figure out what's going on and make a plan to get through it. I was pretty naive to think that things were going to go 100% perfectly and I would be fine after a month. Everyone is different and recovery will vary, but expect some bumps in the road. If things go as planned, awesome. If not, you will not be so discouraged.
6. Maybe all of this happened for a reason. I am a true believer in this one. If my experience helps one person, that's a win for me. It makes all of this crap a little more bearable. I hope that someone, somewhere finds this information useful.
So, would I do it all over again ? Yes. I would. This cruddy one or two years of my life is worth knowing that I am safe. If I had not had the surgery, I would live in constant fear and that is no way to live. Would I have a TRAM ? That one is a little tougher to answer. I would have the surgery, but I would ask more questions and I would be more persistent when I thought that something was wrong. It's easy to see all of this now, not so much when you are living it.
